WEEKLY COLUMN: SHABBAT SHUVAH

A ONE-MINUTE SERMONETTE FOR THE SABBATH OF REPENTANCE

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The following is a verbatim transcript of my conversation today with my chiropractor. It is actually all that needs to be said as we prepare for the Sabbath of Repentance:

The scene: I am lying face-down on the chiropractic table. The chiropractor (“Dr. Mark”) has just completed a series of adjustments to the lumbar and thoracic spine, and in order to continue, he needs me to change my position:

Dr. Mark: Michael, please lie on your side, facing away from me.

Me: Dr. Mark, that is the opposite direction from the way you had me lie, at the last session.

Dr. Mark: Yes. Your pattern of maladjustment is variable.

Me: Well, I suppose it’s a reason to be thankful—that my pattern of maladjustment is not stubbornly invariable.

Dr. Mark: (Chuckles)

Me: Come to think of it, that’s actually a sermon: “Don’t confuse the inflexibility of your maladjustment pattern with firmness of principle!” Although I know quite a few people who make exactly that mistake… Thank you for helping me with my next sermon.

Dr. Mark: I don’t know how much help I gave, but I’m pleased to be connected with the creative process.

Me: Thank you, Dr. I feel better already.